The Drunkest Offense in America – Week 0

When Robbie and I first conceptualized the idea of “The Drunkest Offense in America” in the infancy of The FlipCast, we did so very late in the 2017 season without much in the way of supporting our claims aside from being prisoners of the moment. It’s still the right way to do such a thing.

As the 2019 season kind of started on Saturday, there were four possible contenders to claim the resetting title. (Going FBS only, because it would be nearly impossible to track all collegiate levels; that isn’t to say that we wouldn’t appreciate a Division III team that hangs 70-plus on its opponents … It just might be days before we know that it happened given that Amanda, Robbie and I are super busy as it is)

Anyhow, this post is already spending too much time not sharing the glory of Week 0’s Drunkest Offense in America, so without much more in the way of delay …: 

The runner-up: Arizona

The only way Saturday’s game could end, aside from a touchdown.

Should our Drunkest Offense in America not be able to fulfill its duties before Week 1 begins, Arizona would wear the crown. As it sits, the Wildcats were a yard away from forcing overtime when Khalil Tate was stopped at the 1 after scrambling for 30 yards on the game’s final play. While needing at least 540 yards on Saturday, Arizona’s 539 yards on the evening produced 361 passing yards and 178 yards on the ground, with Tate producing 108 of them on 13 carries. While not victorious, Arizona was a bit more efficient – and explosive – possessing the ball for just a little over 22 minutes while generating solid numbers and putting up 21 points in a wild second quarter. 

Next week: Arizona has a bye. Slackers. 

The Drunkest Offense in America: Hawai’i 

In a text to Robbie, I had prematurely – and jokingly – crowned Florida as the country’s drunkest offense thanks to the fact that it sloshed its way to a 24-20 win over Miami in a game that exposed the fallacies of Week 0 showcase games. This was before Cole McDonald sauntered in and teamed up with Cedric Byrd II early, often and with extreme success. Byrd hauled in 14 passes for 224 yards and four touchdowns.

This happened four times. Here’s one of those times.

Normally, Byrd’s day is enough to garner a lot of attention, albeit the morning-after kind since Honolulu insists on being five time zones behind those of us in the Eastern Time Zone. Seriously, Hawai’i … We gotta talk about that.

But fawning over Byrd takes vital verbiage away from McDonald, who engineered the Rainbow Warriors’ Run and Shoot attack while passing for 378 yards and four scores. He also tossed four interceptions because he’s a damn artist and his movement is making sure that only eight of his 41 attempts found the ground before someone’s hands.

In. My. Veins!

Hawai’i ran the ball a bit, too, but running the ball ain’t as fun as flinging the ball down the field. Plus, who would stay up and watch Hawai’i if the Rainbow Warriors weren’t running an offense predicated on scoring all the points as quickly as possible? We aren’t seeing an on-probation Houston in the late-80s hanging like 50 points on nearly everyone here, but as long as the heart of the Run and Shoot beats in Hawai’i, we’re quite here for it. 

Next week: Hawai’i also has a bye, which feels wrong given that the season starts proper next weekend, plus it almost guarantees that the Rainbow Warriors will lose the title without a proper chance to defend it with powerhouses across the country lining up against all the cupcakes.  

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