Tuesday Take: College is better … For paper

img_2289Tuesday Takes is a series where either Robbie, Shawn or a special contributor offer a take with the fury of at least one sun. Takes are not required to stay within the formatting or categories of other posts on The BatFlip, but they will come with conviction.

Let’s just get right into it.

There are two types of people in this world. The first type is the kind of person who swears by college-ruled notebook paper. The second type needs to get right with the first type. This is not a world where wide-ruled paper is acceptable once you’re past fifth grade. (Some would even argue fourth grade, but I’ll cut parents and guardians of current fifth-graders a bit of slack)

If you need numbers to help you see my side, here they are.

  • • College-ruled (or medium-rule) boasts a margin of 9/32 of an inch between horizontal lines.
  • Wide-ruled paper checks in with a margin of 11/32 of an inch between horizontal lines. 

So, there’s a 1/16-inch difference. That means that every 16 lines on a sheet of wide-ruled paper is robbing you of a chance to keep your written thoughts on the same page. I can only imagine how annoying this is for teachers to have to check a second sheet of wide-ruled copy when it could have easily fit on a college-ruled sheet. If you used wide-rule at any level of your education beyond elementary school, handwrite your teachers an apology letter after you read this post … But use college-ruled paper like a civilized human being.

While you wide-ruled enthusiasts are probably distraught that your life has been a lie. Don’t rush to toss out your notebooks purchased out of being misguided souls. While you have seen the light, there isn’t a need to be wasteful. There are plenty of uses for those sheets that will never involve you having to wantonly distribute another drop of precious ink.

  • A 1:5 scale representation of a football field. But use pencils to draw in the other markings, though. Don’t use pens. Pens only deserve the glory of college-ruled sheets. 
  • Parallel-parking practice between the horizontal lines. Seriously, if you drive a vehicle smaller than a minivan, this will be a great help in mastering the tricky art of parallel parking.
  • Paper footballs. At least the wide-rule sheet can die heroically as it flies through the air and over a set of goal posts made with the thumbs acting as the crossbar. (Anyone who inverts the goal posts to have the thumbs as uprights should be banned from ever playing paper football in the future)
  • A crude, yet economical way to cover textbooks.
  • Kids crafts. Readers with kids can figure that one out. I’m just the idea man.
  • A napkin when there are no actual napkins or paper towels are available. We’ve all been there. No judging.

DISCLAIMER(S): Obviously, wide-rule has a purpose for those who write large or cannot see/read smaller text … We can all agree that graph paper is the superior ruling for notebook- and filler-paper, but this is a hot take about what should be in second place. 

FlipCast Episode 2: The One About The College Football Playoff

The FlipCast (4)

Find it here on Podbean

In this episode …

• Shawn and Robbie think the committee got it right with the College Football Playoff pairings

• When good Gronk becomes bad Gronk

• We dig a skeleton from the past of the University of Washington

• Robbie is still holding out on that life-changing take